Do you feel like you and your spouse always argue about money? Do you avoid discussing finances because you know it will bring added stress? Did you know money is one of the leading marriage issues today? Almost 50% of marriages admit they argue about money occasionally.
What if you and your spouse could be on the same page? Here are some tips to help.
Prepare - When you and your spouse are feeling calm and both in a good attitude, ask if you can plan a time to discuss the finances? Giving them a head's up can help them to feel prepared mentally for the conversation. Let them know you would love to hear their perspective too. (I've messed this part up too many times because I was stressed about finances, so I went to my husband stressed and it just made the problem worse rather than better.) When I calmly let him know I would like to look over our money plan or our spending, the conversation goes so much better. "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, AS FITS THE OCCASION, that it may give grace to those who hear." Do your best to be sure you are walking into the conversation, wanting to build up your spouse.
Kindly share with your spouse why you want to work together on your finances. Ask them to share their financial goals. Maybe grab some popcorn and candy to make this task more enjoyable.
Discuss things like :
Having a monthly money plan in place so you know all the bills will be paid. It will help reduce stress in your marriage.
Talk about your debts and goals regarding how to tackle them. Are you hoping to pay off the credit card and car loans quickly or are you okay with paying interest for the entire life of the loan.
Talk about fun ways to spend your money. Does one person love to get take out? Does the other love going to the shooting range or buying new tactical gear? How can we make those things fit into the monthly plan so you feel like you can actually enjoy the money you worked so hard to earn?
Long term goals - When do you want to retire? What do you want retirement to look like? Do you want to travel, spoil the grandkids? Discuss these things and have fun.
Remember you are a team! Working together will bring you so much further than continuing to be at odds in your finances.
3. Get Outside Help -
Do these conversations cause more harm than good? Have you tried talking to your spouse in the most gentle way possible but you still can't seem to win?
Hire a financial coach to help you work together as a team. An outside opinion can bring so much assistance. There have been many times where my husband has told me something, but when I hear an outside source tell me the exact same thing it hits home so much deeper. An outside perspective assures that your are getting objective financial guidance rather than a biases opinion.
Get marriage counseling - There's a negative stigma around counseling of any sort. But let's face reality for a moment. Life is hard. We all communicate differently and sometimes we need some encouragement and advice on how to handle thing in a more effective way.
You and your spouse can work together on your money goals! There is hope that you can be a team and live your dreams together.
Could you use some outside help? Sign up for a free money coaching consultation on the home page! I'd be honored to help you work together as a team so you can finally win!